Time flies

It shocked me when I found out that it has been more than 0.5 month that I didn't update here. Time is passing by faster than anything. Faster than it take me to think of something to bla here.

I was busy with a lot of office procedures, application, routines, and many other so-call black and white ways lately. Can't even remember how many signatures i have put, can't remember how much quotation i get. All these had made me down to the place that i can not work efficiently. I was worried.

Worry about everything that can goes wrong. Even for very standard procedure, thing can go wrong, if it wants to. I know I am worried about something that out of my control. Something that i shouldn't think of at the first place.

Yet, if all the worries can go away, then i won't be writing this part.

The next thing i know after i have a satisfying answer from previous problem, is new coming problem. Life is not like wind surfing, the wave has not stopped at all. It keeps me challenged all the time.

May be it is the way i interpret them. All the waves are meant to be fun but not worrying stuff.
When will I start to learn to take on all these stuff and enjoy ? I wonder.

Something..

It is a miracle word. It refers to all things. It means nothing. Something special can means you have everything so special, it is just i could not spell it out loud. Something special can also means i find nothing special in you, yet it is too rude to tell the truth.

When someone ask you if you have any thought. You can always say you have something in mind but need some time to process. Who does not have something in mind? There is ALWAYS something in mind. Even a mentally retarded person is using his brain all the time, only at a different frequency.

When someone ask if you have special feeling to her. You can reply: You are really something. Who is not a thing. Everyone has his/her physical entity, everyone is always "something". We are never nothing. So, say no more "something" to me.

Something is something that we use when we have no answer, refuse to give answer, hesitate to be honest and also when there is actually "something".

talk too much

Talking is an output or result of thinking. Sometimes, you find yourself think too much, so you want to release the burden. You talk. After some time, you finish with all the material or contents that you can think of, you stop talking and start thinking again.

Talking and thinking are two interdependant process. You don't talk if you don't think. You don't think if you don't need to talk. We may or may not be aware that, talking actually takes up a lot of our time everyday. Somehow, it depends on what kind of job you are working.

I always feel terribly exhausted after a long chat. I use all my mind plus full concentration when i talk. It is what i think sincerity. If you really think and talk to me, you would know i can be your truly friend indeed.